My friends can not begin to understand the gut wrenching pain! I was tired of crying all day and night! I was filled up with loneliness and jealousy of what he has with the new chic. I’m just wasting my life away waiting for bedtime as when I fall asleep is the only time I’m at peace until I wake up. I keep thinking of things I should’ve done over our 20 year marriage and I just can’t stand myself and can’t seem to get over it! It’s been 6 months and I’ve made no progress. I’m sorry for sharing this! I just need to get it out! I’m so envious of all you strong women out there ..I wish I was ... thanks for listening ️
I saw this message one day & it broke my heart! Why? Because she used to be ME! I had to respond to her! So, I said this: I UNDERSTAND!!!
For you.. in fact I remember doing a video to express what I went through. At the time, I thought I was the only one that had someone all of a sudden leave.. abandon me.. and be mean as hell to me in the beginning. I did not know “runaway husbands” existed. I thought it was just mine. I could not understand why I was crying so much over his lil ass leaving me after 21 yrs ... we all get it!! ..
I was you.. the tears, the anxiety, losing appetite, sleep.. while his ass moves on and seems like he has the world with a new chic .. no problems, $2 MILLION HOUSE WITH A POOL, 7 fireplaces & more while I fell apart & barely able to maintain my job. I must admit not until I said FORGET HIM (not the F -word I wanted to say but you get my drift) did I put things into perspective to get my ass up and move on and realize that GOD HAS SOMEONE 10,000 TIMES BETTER FOR ME!!! HE IS PREPARING HIM FOR YOU BEAUTIFUL!!! Dry your tears babygirl!! Your 10,000 TIMES BETTER IS COMING!! Stop blaming yourself!! Do not do that to yourself!!! You will self assess & self assess til your blue in the face! Start over today! Take it one step at a time! [End of my comments to her]
I realized at that moment that I was also saying that to myself! I was saying to myself START OVER AGAIN. I was acknowledging that even after almost 5 years divorced THE EFFECT OF MY RUNAWAY HUSBAND STILL IMPACTS ME TIL THIS DAY!
Each day you must start over. Every day I wake up thinking about what I did wrong to be abandoned, how lonely I was inside my marriage, & how sexually unsatisfied I was but still stayed with him —BUT HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO BE THE ONE TO LEAVE!!! HOW COULD HE JUST GIVE UP ON ME??? I realized how angry I was for not telling him these things all these years!! I should have cussed him out, beat that ass, or through a pan of grits on his ass!!
Then God stops & reminds me each time that HE TOLD ME TO FORGIVE HIM, FORGIVE MYSELF AND TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO SMILE THROUGH THE PAIN. See... even I still deal with the pain. But smiling through it is the key!! Every day you must START OVER. The impact of the RUNAWAY HUSBAND IS FELT FOR YEARS!!
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