What Did You Do For Me?

Sometimes you just have to express those built up emotions & move forward. So what if I challenged you to do that. Today in your journal I want you to write down all those built up emotions & feelings, then breathe, drink some hot tea, & leave those feelings there on the paper! I’ll start!! 

When Mr. Runaway left me, one of the meanest things he said to me was: what did you do for me? (Meaning while we were married—what did you do for me?)  When he said it, I instantly felt a pain in my chest! How dare you??? I remember so many times asking him: if I was a good wife? Am I doing the things you want me to do as a wife? Can you please talk because I don’t feel like I know you eventhough we are married. Comments I received, “you’re fine!” 

For 20 years, I always said to him your comments are so harsh! When he said those words it made me think of Janet Jackson‘s song WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?!  And what I should have said but I was too hurt to say it, but: I stayed with your ass even though your penis was the size of a toddler‘s!! I dealt with bull crap from your mother!  I cooked when I did not feel like cooking! I supported you as you continued to buy high dollar Mercedes Benz for years on a teacher’s salary, then as you got promoted- more & more cars. It made no sense to keep wasting money on cars that lost valued as soon as you sat your butt in it! I stayed with you even though each day you would sit in the same spot on the sofa every day, bored the hell out of me and would not talk. I was extremely lonely and depressed but I refused to give up on you! That’s what I did for you! [end of journal] That felt great!!!!

To my audience—-You can not hold on to built up emotion & feelings! Journal it, leave it there & move forward!